incorrectnct:

nct as things said by my friends (pt.i)

inspired by kwoncity

taeil: don’t tell me you threw my gym shoes on the roof again

taeyong: [entering class] did someone order a spicy meat-a-boy?

priest: does anyone want to share what they wrote?
johnny: [whispering] oh we were meant to write it? i just drew a duck

yuta: do you think carpet cleaner could substitute for holy water?

kun: why did none of you tell me gummy bears aren’t an accepted form of payment?

doyoung: don’t you dare touch my blueberry babies

ten: can i pierce your ears with a thumbtack?
jaehyun: no i have sensitive lobes

winwin: does anyone want to be my sugar parent so i can quit my job? all gender applicants are accepted

jungwoo: [arrives in last period] sorry i overslept

lucas: i did loads last night!
mark: yes but winning mario party doesn’t get us an A does it?

renjun: i can’t wait for the day robots take over

jeno: honestly, i got confused so I’ve been playing solitaire for an hour

haechan: so i said no, bitch, band practise doesn’t revolve around you and your goddamn schedule

jaemin: oh my god, i have two elbows
chenle: as apposed to how many?
jisung: watch out they get away easily

incorrectnct:

nct as things said by my friends (pt.ii)

pt. i

taeil: why does my cat smell like jam donuts?

johnny: [accidently deep throats a pasta fork]

taeyong: who’s that? because he makes me think i’m a bisexual.

yuta: my child will be one risen from the ashes of my enemies.

kun: i didn’t want to talk about excrements at nine o’clock on a friday morning, but here i am.

doyoung: [on a plane] i have to sit in a floating tin can for two and half hours with him.

ten: i wouldn’t recommend the hotel soap, guys. it makes you sticky, and not in the good way.

jaehyun: it took me 16 years to realize american wasn’t a language.

winwin: you’re blind now, but watch, in a few years i will be the supreme leader.

jungwoo: i sneeze gold, fuckers.

lucas: i’m wearing all black for prom. who’s funeral is it, you ask? my own. say goodbye to my past self. someone dangerous is coming.

mark: does a dui count if i was high on cheetos?

renjun: i’d drop you all if i weren’t also such a loser.

jeno: you all know i only sound smart because i recite what i hear on criminal minds!

haechan: yeah, you can have my number. it’s 0-800-fuck you.

jaemin: he asked me, “what’s one cat plus two cat?” and i said, “there’s a cat!?”

chenle: the real question is: fellas, is it straight?

jisung: here’s the plan, i push you down the stairs–

incorrectnct:

nct as things said/done by my friends (pt.iii) – drunk edition

pt. i | pt. ii

taeil: “the biggest whip i’ve ever whapped.”

johnny: [struggles to rip up a whole science textbook for 20 minutes]

taeyong: [sitting in an empty paddling pool] bitch knew mermaids were real.

yuta: “my favorite anime is that one where she teaches us spanish and constantly gets robbed by a talking ferret.”

kun: [screams at a puddle]

doyoung: [offended] “what do mean you wouldn’t sleep with me!? would you sleep with me?” 

ten: “not to be weird, but i’d sleep with you all if you asked. not at the same time but… okay, maybe at the same time.”

jaehyun: “that’s not america! the map says that’s alaska!”

winwin: [get’s lost in the woods looking for mr. tumnus’ house]

jungwoo: “seeing a woman’s ankles was scandalous way back when and so was being gay so by my very sound logic, ankles are gay.”

lucas: [walks in exclaiming in italian]

mark: [recites cotton eye joe as his voicemail message]

renjun: “the bible is basically a new york times best seller.”

jeno: “people who uniorincally dance to the cha cha slide are people i don’t associate with.” [proceeds to scream the lyrics]

haechan: “uwu FUCK OFF!” 

jaemin: [sneezes agressively}
chenle: “JESUS CHRIST!”
jisung: “no, just jaemin.”