lostyukhei:

taeyong: i have this odd feeling that people think i have 4 children

lucas: i said it’s okay i love me too then he dumped me

mark: the only pie equation worth solving is the solution to get it in my mouth

johnny: caw caw goes the monkey

winwin: thanks for telling me you weren’t awake at 1 am

ten: no but really, are siri and google hooking up or nah

haechan: did you know you’re more likely to die on your birthday…happy bday

jisung: who serves salad as an appetizer like wtf we aren’t rich

taeil: what do you mean that’s a dead meme boi

jaemin: I think I might be the gay cousin

renjun: you think people would notice if justin disappears for a few days, it’s for a science project

yuta: all I want is to be in a relationship with an anime girl, is that too much to ask

doyoung: if i take over the world your attitude is gonna be the first thing to go

jaehyun: you think people don’t talk to me cause i look too beautiful or too hot

jeno: hahahahahha, I’m not laughing

kun: if you eat my lasagna i’ll disown you

chenle: apparently screaming for more cookies isn’t a job lol

jungwoo: my eye is twitching from winking at the waiter too much, you think he’ll notice

sugakookiessss:

taeyong: “im so done… pornstars are trying to take over the world”

taeil: “is you muted? oh wait i wouldn’t hear you if you answered”

johnny: “there’s still fried chicken in the fridge i can’t jump in the casket yet”

yuta: “im as broke as a mcflurry machine”

kun: *drops lettuce* “im so mad right now i jUST WANT TO MAKE A FUCKING SALAD IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR??!?!!”

doyoung: “youre just one big fucking toe with a headache”

ten: “men’s pants- nut huggers with no ass”

jaehyun: “THAT ONE HIT ME RIGHT IN THE HONEY NUT FEELIOS”

winwin: *sees old man* eXCUSe mE SIR ARE YOU AROUND 80 YEARS OLD, RICH, AND HAVE A HEART CONDITION???”

jungwoo: “natural selection is coming for her istg” 

lucas: “i just burped so hard i drooled oh my god”

mark: “did you know honey combs are just bee booty flakes?”

renjun: “i felt bad about dropping out and getting my GED but then i realized paris Hilton dropped out so im fine”

jeno: “thou shan’t not fucketh with thee, for I contain the mystical power of the almighty lord and the animations on thoust part”

haechan: *looks at family* “aww they have a cute child… watch her grow up to be a hoe”

jaemin: “THE BABAYAGAAAAAAAA”

chenle: “i just ate moldy bread on accident oh god”

jisung: *tells time* “i am basically mother nature”