Johnny: who broke the fucking tv?
Mark and Chenle: it was us.
Johnny: how did you guys even break it?
[the night before]
Mark: you can’t play wii bowling without the safety strap on.
Chenle: aight… watch me
Tag: memes
TY: spirits can be really aggressive so its important to take all necessary precautions when approaching.
NCT Dream and Lucas in the background: [beeps airhorn at a demon] GET FUCKED
nct as things that i’ve heard in high school
Taeyong: “Why do I always have to shake your salad? Don’t you have hands? Shake that veggie bonanza yourself.”
Jisung: “Yeah, I might be a freshman, but I have a bigger dick than you so shut the fuck up.”
Jaehyun: “These shoulders looking like a motherfucking tabletop, hell yea.”
Lucas: “I was so sexually frustrated in class that I basically humped the chair while the teacher was giving a lecture.”
Yuta: “Wait, the answer was a number?! I fucking wrote Alabama!!”
Winwin: “This milk tastes like cum.”
Someone asks, “How do you know?”
“Because I was sucking your man’s dick last night.”
Kun: “This some crusty ass lasagna.”
Mark: “Yo waddup Mrs._____, I hope your weekend was yeetingly yeet! Cause I’m feeling #blessed.”
Jaemin: “If I was a girl, I would have massive big dick energy. But lucky for me, I’m a guy with an actual big dick.”
Chenle: “You know what? I’m sick of you guys making fun of my laugh. If I want to be a fucking hyena, let me be a fucking hyena.”
Jeno: “They charged me ten dollars, for THIS SHITTY CROISSANT.”
Ten: “No homo or anything, but I’d suck that guy’s dick for free.”
Doyoung: “If that teacher sticks her stanky ass in front of my face one more time, I will kill a bitch.”
Taeil: “For the senior prank, I’m thinking of sticking condoms all over doorknobs. Could you imagine? Hey, Mike, sorry bro, but I can’t help with your pickle jar cause my hands lubey as fuck.”
Haechan: “You know, I walked in front of the mirror today and thought, damn. Why am I still not on America’s Next Top Model?”
Jungwoo: “Today, I went for the furry sub vibe.”
Renjun: “ I said. Fuck. Your. Chicken. STRIPS!”
Johnny: “Of course she’s attractive. You would fuck anything with two legs.”
Stray Kids as things my friends and I have said
Chan: It’s not that difficult just use your phalanges!!
Woojin: Ah yes, the tromboon, my favorite of the woodbrass
Lee Know: Don’t dig through my bag or I’ll slit your throat with a turtle
Changbin: If you ever need to find me just follow the smell of celery and gay angst
Hyunjin: I’m not like John Cena, he’s the real hoe
Han: It’s not an oboe you cashew-based milk
Felix: Is that vape? No, it’s asthma
Seungmin: “kill me now” is not in my list of commands, please try again
I.N: Don’t test the power of anxiety
chan: do you also get the random urge to get your life together in the middle of the night?
jisung: yup. and then the next day i be back on my bullshit
chan: raising 9 children is like taking care of many people who are on shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.
what the frick
JYP: *sleeps on Woojin*
Chan: *skateboards into his office wearing ugly sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt holding a can of Coca-Cola* what the frick dude
pickup lines?
Chan: *waggles eyebrows at Woojin* Are you a cup of coffee? Because you make my heart beat faster.
Woojin: …
Chan: My heart is beating at 299 miles an hour. I’ve had 7 cups of espresso today and it’s only noon. I haven’t slept in seven years.
Woojin: Are you okay?
Chan, softly: no
woojin: hey that’s a nice butt-
chan: *shoots up from where he was lying on the couch*
woojin: -erfly. the butterfly cocoon your niece drew. it’s really good and it’s a perfect metaphor for puberty
chan, as woojin’s talking: *huffs and lies back down*
woojin: you also have a really nice ass
chan: *falls off the couch*
tomfoolery 