nct as things that i’ve heard in high school

hazylucas:

Taeyong: “Why do I always have to shake your salad? Don’t you have hands? Shake that veggie bonanza yourself.”

Jisung: “Yeah, I might be a freshman, but I have a bigger dick than you so shut the fuck up.”

Jaehyun: “These shoulders looking like a motherfucking tabletop, hell yea.”

Lucas: “I was so sexually frustrated in class that I basically humped the chair while the teacher was giving a lecture.”

Yuta: “Wait, the answer was a number?! I fucking wrote Alabama!!”

Winwin: “This milk tastes like cum.”

Someone asks, “How do you know?”

“Because I was sucking your man’s dick last night.”

Kun: “This some crusty ass lasagna.”

Mark: “Yo waddup Mrs._____, I hope your weekend was yeetingly yeet! Cause I’m feeling #blessed.”

Jaemin: “If I was a girl, I would have massive big dick energy. But lucky for me, I’m a guy with an actual big dick.”

Chenle: “You know what? I’m sick of you guys making fun of my laugh. If I want to be a fucking hyena, let me be a fucking hyena.”

Jeno: “They charged me ten dollars, for THIS SHITTY CROISSANT.”

Ten: “No homo or anything, but I’d suck that guy’s dick for free.”

Doyoung: “If that teacher sticks her stanky ass in front of my face one more time, I will kill a bitch.”

Taeil: “For the senior prank, I’m thinking of sticking condoms all over doorknobs. Could you imagine? Hey, Mike, sorry bro, but I can’t help with your pickle jar cause my hands lubey as fuck.”

Haechan: “You know, I walked in front of the mirror today and thought, damn. Why am I still not on America’s Next Top Model?”

Jungwoo: “Today, I went for the furry sub vibe.”

Renjun: “ I said. Fuck. Your. Chicken. STRIPS!”

Johnny: “Of course she’s attractive. You would fuck anything with two legs.”

Stray Kids as things my friends and I have said

stantalentstansk:

Chan: It’s not that difficult just use your phalanges!!

Woojin: Ah yes, the tromboon, my favorite of the woodbrass

Lee Know: Don’t dig through my bag or I’ll slit your throat with a turtle

Changbin: If you ever need to find me just follow the smell of celery and gay angst

Hyunjin: I’m not like John Cena, he’s the real hoe

Han: It’s not an oboe you cashew-based milk

Felix: Is that vape? No, it’s asthma

Seungmin: “kill me now” is not in my list of commands, please try again

I.N: Don’t test the power of anxiety